Faux Bo

Other career options? Bo Obama's body double. He's a little scawed sometimes because his daddy is the president and people out in the weorld are crazy in their pants. I do all of Bo's stunts. I am not scawed of anything. I'm macho. I'm cool. I have lots of big muscles. My panza muscle is my strongest muscle of all. It's super sexy too. You want to touch it? I love belly rubs.

CSI: Radio Edition

After our walkie today, I told mama that I think I might want to add CSI investigator to my repertoire.
1. I look handsome in sunglasses.
2. I am not a farkle like David Caruso.
3. I have an excellent sniffer.
4. I am convinced that there are several dead bodies in my neighborhood and people are hiding the trufs!

I will keep you posted on my hard hitting sniffer investigations!

I'm Back Bitches!

I had a long talk with mama today on our morning patrol. It's not okay that she doesn't update my blog. Because I am a quadruped and I don't have opposible thumbs, I rely on her to communicate with my constituents. And I have an important message that has not been delivered yet....

Glencoe Ave is now my kingdom. that's right people. I have decided I want to be the King as well as the Mayor of Glencoe Ave. I swear that I will be a benevolent monarch. But I like that, with my royal title, I can do things like knight people and make ladies wear jaunty hats. We can have big parties that feature lots of smoked meats (yummmm meat) and no vegitables. I mean the real british peoples don't eat their veggies, so why should I? BLECH. Veggies are for loooooosers and I am not a loser. I'm a special boy. Mama says so.

Law & Order: Glencoe Edition

There are several gang members in my neighborhood. They look like this:

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After extensive investigation with my nose sniffer, I have decided that this guy and his friends are suspects in the homicides of several worms in my neighborhood.



Poow littlo wormies. The big bad bird gangstas were sacrificing them for flesh and meth! I can feel it in my bizones! It's a dangerous world out thew for people and for puppies. I have to protect the citizens for Glencoe from gang activities. It's not good to have gangsters disrupting the peace. Even Rasta Dog from next door is scared. He loves Bob Marley so he is pretty mellow, but yestoday he told me that he was worried. I reminded Rasta Dog that I was there to serve and protect. And that is what I will do citizens. FEAR NOT! Remember, like my mama says Jesus didn't tapout!

I whip my hair back and forth!

I got a haircut and a bathy yesterday with Maria my amiga at Precious Paws. Apparently, I had a shitload of gum between my paws. To that I say WTF?!

What do you think of my 'fro? I need to go buy a pick!



I love to celebrate like Whitney when I get my hair did.

The most wonderful time of the year.

I just came back from my very first christmas with my family. Personally, personally I had christmas in August, when I said to Diosito "Deaw Diosito, I am in the slammer right now, but I would really really really like to get adopted for christmas even thought it's summertime." Then my mommy came to Chatsworth, home of porn, to save me. It was amazeballs.

So this christmas, I just sat back and did the hang out with my family and said thank you to baby jesus for being born.

This is my bruder Dido going meemees on the sofa. That is his baby who helps him do the meemees by letting Dido suck on his nose. They looooove each other.



This is me with my new zebra I got for christmas from my Auntie Dora. I do the hang out in the kitchen in case my grammy drops some good stuff for me to put in my pansita. When she does, it's like heaven. Heaven.



Grammy says I look like a wooly mammoth. So sometimes I rawwwr for her. Rawwwwwwwr.



Now I'm home again. It's good to sniff regular sniffs and it looks like the citizens of Glencoe did the behave while I was gone. Tonight, I do my patrol to keep the peace before the New Year. Then I will drink champagne and have cookies. Yum.

Sippin' Sizzerp in My Ride, like a G-6

Last night....See, I had a really hard day yesterday, see, cause it was Thursday and that means lots of things like moving darth vader for street cleaning, taking big boy naps, and licking my armpits which my mom says is dirty. When she says those things to me I feel bad about myself and have periods of self loathing which are not good for anyone! So Last night, my buddy Harry the Hedgehog and I decided to have a little drinky. It was quite delicious. Yum yum yum.


But then after that, I started to feel whoaaa whooaaa whoooaaa dizzy. Harry threw up and it was groaty. Plus, mom took away my keys. It was probably better that way.



But I hung in there. This morning, I had to drink some Gatoraide to help my tummy feel better. Booze is not that answer.